Aw, Shit…

And I feel bad when I don’t get the chickens corn chops by 7am…

I’m not a card carrying member of PETA, or a militant vegetarian. But I will never ever order up a chicken sandwich when eating out again. I’ll take the salad bar or something.

Wood

The woodpile in the basement – and no, I don’t keep it that close to the stove. The boxwood stove you see in the pic is the old one. We upgraded to a Vogelzand Heartwood last year.

click for big pic

The wood you see here is typical of stuff that is left to rot away after the loggers get done. This is all junk “tops” that are leftover from thinning out a five acre plot. I’ve been burning this stuff for four years now and got at least three more years worth if I can get it up off the ground. A lot of it is getting sorta pithy from being on the ground too long.

Everywhere I go I see these treetops either piled up or just laying in the woods. I also see a lot of nice split and stacked ricks of wood with for sale signs on them – anywhere from 30 to 45 bucks a rick. And you don’t see much of this “junk” round stuff in the stuff for sale. You can’t even give it away. Nobody wants to go through the hassle of dragging this shit out of the woods. Easier to spend the slave labor paycheck on propane I suppose.

I have 40+ acres of woods out here. The tree limbs that snapped off during the ice storm would heat my house for 10 years. I bet that the trees that die a natural death or sloughed off branches would keep this house and two others warm.

Sad to see so much fuel going to waste.

Everybody Wants Pics, Eh?

Guilting me into dragging out the camera and spending hours plowing through the manual learning how to run a digital camera… so here’s the first pic of the farm for your viewing pleasure…

click for big pic

It sure was funny watching those pigs banging around in the scrap metal heap. Those were last year’s pigs and I hadn’t gotten around to hauling all the scrap metal to the metal dealer’s yet. The pigs had outgrown their little pen I made for them as 20 pound weaners and this particular area was real easy to fence off quick. There was all kinds of brush and weeds growing through all the junk so I figured the pigs would trample and munch it all up. Did a good job.

My sister in law is the family photographer and she has a knack for taking some really beautiful pictures around the farm. Me? Well, let’s just say I see things through a different lens. One man’s trash…

The corrugated tin hut was salvaged from the neighbor’s dump pile when he abandoned his place that had a live creek running 50 feet from his front door for a tract house wannabe McMansion in same town we got the hell out of. I hauled over 300 bucks worth of junk metal to the scrap yard from his dump, and got lots of tasty building materials out of the deal. I’ve used that crappy white door in the foreground as a quick goat barrier a dozen times, the old upside down washing machine holds all my garden hand tools – an old barrel top keeps the rain off. I put some oil soaked sand in it to scrub the tools with after use to keep them all clean and bright.

Maybe this camera thing is an okay deal. I’ll snap a pic of some goofiness around here and explain some of the finer details. Might make me post more.

Fifty Cent Bell Pepper…

And the red ones were 79 cents at the grocery store the other day. No, I didn’t buy any – I still have a gallon freezer bag full from last year. It just staggers my mind that a stupid pepper could cost that much. Visualize miles and miles of tract housing with enough room for a nice little veggie plot watered by the kitchen sink drain. Peppers and tomatoes shouldn’t even be a salable commodity in a world that makes sense. But, this world doesn’t, and I’m going to make a shitload of money this year selling stuff for less that the supermarkets charge.

Stupid cabbages are over a dollar. Nuthin’ dumber or easier to grow than a cabbage. Except for 35 cents a pound onions that keep in the closet for months. I wonder what the store owners would do if I stood in the produce section this spring with a sign that said “You’re an idiot if you don’t plant a garden”.
Give me the boot, for sure, and wouldn’t get the point. I’m going to plant cowpeas in cracks between buildings, neglected flowerpots, and along the railroad tracks that go through town this year.

Butchered The Hog

And it was almost as ridiculous as last year…

Dropped her with a .22, put her on a two wheel dolly (the neighbor was helping with the heavy lifting), wheeled her over to where I cobbled up a piece of pipe attached to some 4×4s I got in the ground as posts for the future patio cover. Wired a chain to the hog’s feet, hooked the chain to the boat trailer wench and started cranking. As soon as all her weight was in the air the poles looked pretty bendy, so I had to lower it down to where the head was on the deck. took enough of the weight off to start hacking without worrying that a post would snap and beat the hell out of me. Problem is, without the head on the ground ya cant cut it off.

Maybe next year I’ll get things right. Note to self: split the breastbone first. Fundamental stuff that only a rube like me thinks he can work around…

So it’s getting dark and I don’t have the skin off the pig yet. The wife said WHAT? when I started moving the table out of the kitchen to get room to throw a tarp on the floor to finish the skinning job and make the primary cuts. I said at least it isn’t a Harley…

The chickens and dogs are happily feasting on the guts, I got 150 pounds of hams, rib racks, and bacon slabs soaking in a brine tub, a couple of 5 gallon buckets full of scraps for sausage, a tub of soup bones, and 20 pounds of fat to render down into lard.

We are gonna eat good again this year. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

The Great Seed Order

Okay, I get a bit carried away every winter when the boredom sets in, but maybe I got a whole lot of carried away this time. Or I’m not kidding about all things doom…

Fedco seed company

Provider Bush Green Bean 2oz $1.10
Windsor Fava Bean 2oz $1.20
Sayamusume Soybean OG 2oz $4.00
Painted Hills Sweet Corn OG 8oz $9.50
Dakota Black Popcorn OG 2oz $1.80
Oregon Giant Snow Pea 8oz $3.50
Early Summer Yellow Crookneck OG 1/8oz $1.10
Candy Roaster Winter Squash OG 1/8oz $1.80
Sweet Meat Winter Squash 1/4oz $0.80
New England Pie Pumpkin 1/4oz $0.80
Bushel Gourd 1/8oz $1.50
Chioggia Beet 1/8oz $0.90
Takinogawa Burdock 1/8oz $1.20
French Breakfast Radish 1/8oz $0.60
Plum Purple Radish 1/8oz $0.90
Harris Model Parsnip 1/8oz $0.70
Laurentian Rutabaga 1/8oz $0.60
Crisp Mint Lettuce OG 1g $1.00
Pan di Zucchero Chicory 0.5g $1.10
Watercress 1/16oz $1.20
Gigante dItalia Parsley 1/16oz $0.60
Roodnerf Brussels Sprouts 2g $1.10
Champion Collards 2g $0.60
EvenStar Smooth Kale OG 1/16oz $2.00
Golden Self-Blanching Celery 0.2g $0.90
Purple Beauty Sweet Pepper 0.5g $0.90
Chocolate Sweet Pepper OG 0.2g $1.60
Early Jalapeño Hot Pepper 0.5g $0.60
Anaheim Hot Pepper 0.5g $0.60
Serrano del Sol Hot Pepper 0.1g $1.50
Speckled Roman Paste Tomato OG 0.2g $1.20
Anise 0.5g $0.90
Sweet Basil 4g $1.00
Borage OG 0.5g $1.10
Caraway 0.5g $0.90
Chives OG 0.5g $1.00
Cilantro OG 1g $1.00
Purple Coneflower or Echinacea OG 1g $1.00
Horehound 0.2g $1.00
Hyssop 0.5g $0.90
Lemon Balm 0.3g $0.90
Lovage 0.5g $1.00
Marshmallow OG 0.4g $1.10
Motherwort ECO 0.2g $1.00
Greek Oregano 0.2g $1.10
White Sage 0.05g $1.30
Summer Savory 1g $0.90
Stevia 0.04g $5.00
Valerian OG 0.2g $1.50
White Yarrow 0.1g $1.00
Copperhead Amaranth 0.2g $1.20
Red Broom Corn 4g $1.00
Handling Charge: + $0.00
Shipping: + $0.00
Total: = $72.70
————————————————-
Burgess plant and seed company

Apricot, Manchurian 4 $7.92
Cucumber, Wisconsin SMR-58 Pkt 1 $0.75
Watermelon, Sugar Baby Packet 1 $0.60
Daylily, Ground Cover 10 $11.99
Citrus, 3-n-1 Dwarf 1 $9.95
Dewberry 5 $7.95
Pepper, Horizon , Packet 1 $1.95
Pepper, California Wonder Packet 1 $0.75
Horseradish 3 $5.25
Artichoke 1 lb. $8.95
Strawberry Bargain 25 $4.95
Butterfly Plant, Hello Yellow 1 $4.95
Gourd , Packet 1 $1.00
Vine Peach , Packet 1 $0.90
Tomato, Ground Cherry , Packet 1 $1.00
Luffa Sponge , Packet 1 $1.00
Garlic Sets 1/2 lb.$3.95
Okra, Clemson , Packet 1 $0.65
Tomato, Trip-L-Crop , Packet 1 $1.00
Carnation 4 $2.50
Scabiosa ‘Butterfly Blue’ 1 $3.29
Lavender, English 6 $6.50
Rose, Blue Moon 1 $5.95
Honeysuckle, Pink 3 $3.95
Birch, White 3 $6.95
Nut Tree, Pecan 2 $9.90
Nut Tree, Walnut Carpathian Eng 2 $14.95
Nut Tree, Chestnut 4 $8.45
Hickory, Mammoth 1 $6.95
Grape Collection, Red/White/Blue 2 $14.50
Elderberry, 1 pair 1 $9.95
Radish, Champion , Packet 1 $0.70
Cherry, Dwarf Flowering 3 $3.95
Cherry, Std Black Tartarian 1 $7.95
Apricot, Std Moorpark 1 $7.95
Plum, Std Stanley 1 $7.95
Apple, Std Red Delicious 1 $7.95
Apple, Std Jonathan 1 $7.95
Apple, Std Yellow Transparent 1 $7.95
Pear, Std Kieffer 2 $14.95
Free Gifts as Earned
Free Planting Instructions Handbook
Tax $0.00 Shipping & Processing $8.95 Total Due $245.55

$320 bucks? Am I insane or what? However, there’s 16 fruit trees in that order – dirt cheap, too. I paid about twenty bucks apiece last year from a different company. Live and learn. Got 12 nut trees, too.

I’m still shopping for the Peron Sprayless tomatos, some wormwood and tansy for the goats, and a good field corn for later in the year. Got to get the pig fat, y’know…

I may have to break down and fire up the tiller to chew up some more ground to fit all this shit in. But Big Pig goes down this Sunday, so there is hope that Three Dollar Pig (sale barn runt that’s about 50 pounds now) can root up some new ground in the 16×16 hog panel pen that I move from place to place.

A couple of these item are going to be fun to play with. Like the Bushel gourd – supposed to grow to bushel basket size. And here’s the blurb from the Sweet Meat Winter Squash:

Sweet Meat squash rocks. We ate them, gave them away, and still have eight of 10-20 lb. sitting on shelves. Planted only two hills in a garden at 1800′ in Vermont that we visited only five times, but they still grew over the bean trellis, vaulted the 8′ garden fence, and ran off into the woods like kudzu with pies attached.

Those babies are gonna love my woods…

The Trip-L-Crop tomatoes are a vine tomato. I have a few beat up cattle panels that I’ll tie on to some dead trees that will make great trellises. Run some snow peas up them first while the tomatoes are starting in pots.

Should be a fun year.

More Idiot Math and Strange Visuals

So I’m flipping through a National Geographic and see an article about recycling and waste in general. The tidbit is that the U.S. sends 30 million tons of food waste to incinerators and landfills a year. Now for … Idiot Math!

30,000,000 x 2000 = 60 billion pounds a year

Feed a pig an average of 30# a day for 180 days = 5,400 pounds of feed.

60 billion pounds / 5,400 = 11 million fat pigs.

Now, imagine 11 million squealing pigs rising up from landfills scattered all over this country running hog wild through the streets screaming “Eat Me! Eat Me – You Made Me, Eat Me!”

The noise from the garbage disposal may mask the approach…

“Smart Chicken”

When the ice storm blasted through here a month or so ago the power went down for a week at my friend’s place. I showed up on day 4 to help clear out tree damage. His wife was busy throwing away everything that was in her refrigerator and freezer… because the stuff had warmed up. Nevermind that the outside temperatures never got over freezing the whole time…

Of course I volunteered to “dispose” of this disgustingly rotted and tainted food – we’ve been eating on it for over a month now. Retail price of all this gourmet shit easily topped 200 bucks – the low class generic versions would still clock in for more than we spend on groceries for a month.

For dinner tonight I pulled out a pack of “smart chicken” – 1.43 pounds of boneless skinless breast fillets. At five ninety-nine cents a pound this stupid hunk of chicken clocked in at $8.57 – bwahahahaha. The hype bestowed on this gourmet gob o’ fowl is hilarious. The shit people will fall for…Happy chicken bit is labeled as:

• vegetable grain fed
• raised without antibiotics
• not fed animal by-products
• no water added

They omitted all taste removed.

Now one would suppose that this culinary delight is far superior to your ordinary confined animal feeding operation. Bullshit. At best this bird was crammed into the same climate controlled mass production chicken barn at 80% of the usual occupancy rate to limit the stress that causes the most need for antibiotics. Granted, the feed isn’t made up of recycled feathers and other crunched up chicken parts, but it is the same Monsanto Grade soybean and corn mix. Never saw a green growing thing in its lifetime.

My chickens run around here eating grass, weed seeds, ticks, bugs and all the corn chops they want. Free to roam and exercise and flap and fuck and do all things chicken. If people will buy “smart chicken” for eight fifty, I shouldn’t have a problem asking 6 bucks for a cleaned, dressed, and cut up fryer. One that actually tastes good.

Call it Einstein Chicken